It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
