love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
