I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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