I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
