is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
