hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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