i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
