There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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