u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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