i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
