Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
