I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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