I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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