I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
