No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
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