What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
