he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
