i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Randomize
