You smell like stripper and shame
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
