I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
