hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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