I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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