her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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