Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
