Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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