im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
