# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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