I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
