Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I could fuck to npr.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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