Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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