Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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