maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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