with your own penis?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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