somebody snuck up and got me drunk
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
