So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
