trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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