You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
she smelled like a LAN party
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
