Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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