69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Watching her eat just hurts me
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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