just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just pee around me
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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