Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
