Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
