You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
im holly from the hills drunk
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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