So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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