...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
