my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
