i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
