She said her name was "party"
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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