Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
