how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
