You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
When did angry sex become our thing?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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