He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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