I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
